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Archive for 2011

The touch of a hand. :)


"Eventually you will come to understand that love heals everything, and love is all there is."
-Gary Zukav

As deep as the wide blue ocean, which when seen as an overview is beautiful, the simplicity in the complications of life amaze me to no extreme. Seen from a distance, life is a beautiful journey, with a few storms but mostly calm; but when we are struggling the currents of life to get to the other side, even a little wave seems fatal, and even a little island with little food is heavy relief. Small little things in this life of ours matter. Sometimes, a small bitter word can keep you feeling forlorn and dejected; and sometimes a word of thanks brings rainbows into your life.  Yes, life is a beautiful journey; and the beauty dances on its feet gracefully, twirls and smiles like a feminine elegant lady, when we find a person struggling through the tides, too, but has enough love in him to hold our hand and suggest us to swim through life together from the very moment after that. After you find him, without finding an island, food would be found; and without rainbows, happiness will be found. THIS is the power of togetherness. THIS is the power of love.

So many times, we find that the person leaves our hand when the tides get too strong and swims into a different direction altogether and leaves us to face a storm-a storm of pain, agony and despair. Nothing seems right after that and nothing seems wrong. Everything just seems pretentious and every word uttered by our lips is full of fear. Then we tend to move away from any hand stretched towards us, not realizing, maybe those fingers fit between yours perfectly- maybe too well to get unlocked.  We think its easy to move forward without the tiniest of support; well, of course we can. But will the journey be worthwhile? Love knows no criteria, has no age. It is Illiterate in numbers and readings but a lot more erudite than any human existence.

When prudence hinders the path of love, let go and hold on. The more experienced, the more learnt. Betrayed once or maybe twice, but trust me, it won’t be so every time. Every storm and every tide, every laughter and every smile is never reasonless and no life is ever lonely. We just have to find the reasons and the love.

Keep loving.
Keep living.

Queen of blah has just this much to say. :) 

One thanks not enough. :)


Long time ago, I had seen a dream- a dream to shine.
Somehow the path to it, I couldn’t find.
Got lost, fell and sometimes broke.
Lonely I was, my tears’ story my pillow would soak.
One morning, I opened my eyes to your angelic face,
An air of insouciance yet enough care in your embrace.
 You held my hand and took me to the road I was looking for,
Didn’t abandon me, with me was a guide I was assured.
You taught me how to live, fight through it all.
Gave me each kind of happiness- big and small.
If words could ever thank you enough,
You’d get an unbounded number wrapped in my love.
But, I suppose gratefulness isn’t what your heart searches,
From every sign of gratitude, it lurches.
So, I give you all I have and ever will,
And will love you, forever lasts until.

This is the Day- Today! :) :D

Like a wish upon a shooting star, 
A dream close to me yet afar.
Chased the rainbow and found the end to initiate, 
Something which seems to be bringing me closer to my fate. 
The euphoric feeling seems to stay throughout, 
The music of the moment is playing aloud. 
Such elation comes to me not very often, 
My eyes seem to shine, heart seems to soften.
This might be love, might not be,
That is for tomorrow to see.
All I know is that my life has never seemed more beautiful that today, 
All the happiness seems to be coming my way.
Your footsteps next to mine is what I'm waiting for, 
Which will happen very soon, I am sure. :)

Counting my Pearls. :)


"We can never turn back the pages of time, though we may wish to relive a happy moment, or say good-bye just one last time, we never can, because the sands of time continue to fall, and we can't turn the hourglass over."~Anonymous 

“I just want to relive this life ONCE. I will rectify it all.”- THE. MOST. COMMON. WISH.

But me? Even if life would knock at my door like a credit card’s salesman with an offer like this- I would never accept it. NEVER. 

Why so? 

I have made a zillion mistakes.Probably more. But there’s not ONE where I have not learnt something.
Therefore I have had a zillion lessons. Probably more. But there’s not ONE where I have not come across a new situation.
Similarly I have faced a zillion new situations. Probably more. But there’s not ONE where I haven’t made a mistake.
So we have a vicious cycle here where I learn, grow, and become a better person.
 
While walking on the sands of my mistakes, lessons and situations; I find a few valuable pearls here and there. Some in the form of memories I cherish forever, some like the beautiful result of a life’s test I passed with flying colors, some are just people: People whom I can rely on, people I can love, people who understand. All these pearls I keep collecting in a golden treasure box which is hidden deep under.  Sometimes, till I can reach the treasure box, my pearl seems to disappear. Yes, it sure hurts but then almost immediately life changes my tears to another pearl which I treasure more than the one I lost.
Each time life gives me a hard time, I open my treasure box and look through all the pearls. Some are big, some are small; some are more valuable than the rest; some give me peace and satisfaction each time. 

“Take care of all your memories. For you cannot relive them.” ~Bob Dylan
 
BUT! But, if I decide to relive my life and rectify my mistakes, when would I walk through the sands? Where would I find my pearls? Where will I find my happiness? How will I value happiness if I don’t see the darker side?  If He gave us only ONE life, He did that for a reason.  For us to learn how to cherish, for us to understand His mercy, for us to LIVE in the true sense. :)

Queen of Blah counting her pearls. :)

The Heart of a Mother- Abyss of Patience, Love, Forgiveness. :)

....When times are rough, 
When the going gets tough. 
When I see no one next to me, 
There is this graceful figure I see. 
Full of bruises yet strong enough to pick me up, 
Just that beautiful is my luck. 
No better best friend would I find, 
My Mom- my mentor, my guide...


Sometimes, when everything seems to go wrong, no one seems to understand me, when I feel that solitude and prayers are the only two things I possess, I feel her warm hands on my shoulder. She picks me up, wipes my tears and does her best to make it alright. Her hug is best medicine and her smile- the best happiness. 

Disasters, blunders and mistakes. I have the BEST recipe for all of them. And trust me, the smell goes quite far. She is the one who rolls her eyes and sprays perfume all over so that I don't get into trouble with anyone but.. **Gulp** her. She scolds, taunts, and sometimes is even hurt. But forgiving as she is, I always seem to find a place back into her loving embrace. Never has she or will she (Yes, I can assure you) leave me alone in a mess. She is my father, my favorite teacher, my best friend and the loveliest companion. She is my MOTHER.

Sometimes, I get pissed with her for embarrassing me in public and not going 'with the trend,' but then I forget, she is the coolest-est Mom of the 21st century, who welcomes my friends with a warm smile and NUMEROUS un-funny yet cute jokes, understands when I need my space and even talks to my friends to give them advice. Then when I remember- I feel like an idiot and thank my stars a dozen times over. 

People say that I am a replica of her. 
I disagree. 
She is strength. And THAT strength resides in me.
She is beauty. And THAT beauty lies on my face. 
She is perfection. Unfortunately, that I can just worship. I am not at all as perfect as she is. Not even near it. 

 She is a perfect blend of strength and softness, dignity and sacrifice, love and strictness. Her heart is an abyss of Patience, love and forgiveness which is everlasting and ever-pure. If I ever seem to be obstinate enough not to learn, no matter how wrong I am, she tries over and over. If I am ever let down, she picks me up. If I ever make a mistake, she rebukes but then forgives.


Hundreds of dewdrops to greet the dawn,
Hundreds of bees in the purple clover,
Hundreds of butterflies on the lawn,
But only one mother the wide world over.
~George Cooper
 

Perfection is never perfect enough.

Everyone searches for a perfect life- with a perfect family, perfect friends, perfect lover, perfect job and a perfect everything. But hey! If everyone always has a perfect life, who would value the perfection. One would probably find something wrong with the perfection too. No one's fault- human nature.
Similarly, I came across perfection in the most perfect way ever. Just like a fairytale. I thanked God everyday for it.
But then, I forgot, a fairytale is only called a PERFECT one when the Princess goes through ALOT  and then FINALLY has a happy ending. And when it was my chance to "go through alot," I decided on giving up. MISTAKE.


 "Fairy tales were not my escape from reality as a child; rather, they were my reality -- for mine was a world in which good and evil were not abstract concepts, and like fairy-tale heroines, no magic would save me unless I had the wit and heart and courage to use it widely."- Terri Windling 

Thank You, God, that I realized what an IDIOT I was being and stopped myself from falling into a ditch.

Therefore, I learnt today i.e. 21st June 2011 that life is ALWAYS perfect. Thank God for everything you have and possess, however small the importance is- because you JUST don't know how empty your life would be without it. Instead of seeing the darkness, see the light. Love life and value it. It's precious. No matter how bad a phase you're going through, it is still PRICELESS. Every bit of your life is priceless and perfect. Because He knows what's perfect for you and so it will be done. :)

"Count your blessings,
Name them one by one
Count your blessings,
See what God has done
Count your blessings,
Name them one by one
Count your many blessings,
See what God has done."
 
Queen of Blah signing out! :) 


She didn't give up.

Disclaimer.
All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Today, when I was feeling all down and out and everything seemed to go wrong, I came across a story provided by my dear Google.

A 14 year old girl who was KNOWN for her charming smile and graceful ways. Boys FOUGHT with each other to be with her, but she? She was in love with a guy who didn't give a shit.
She had once been love with a guy who didn't give a shit.
She didn't give up.
Her parents fought day in and day out. Since the very beginning all she saw was doom and not a single ray of hope.
She didn't give up.
Her elder brother was a mess. Fell in and out of love with the worst of people.
She didn't give up.
Her friends were fake. They were there only when THEY needed her not when she did. She still cared.
She didn't give up.
She kept smiling, hiding behind those beautiful eyes, an ocean of tears and despair. No one knew WHAT she went through. Naah, no one had an idea.
Late at nights, she talked to herself, thought over her problems again and again. She seemed trapped in her fate. Couldn't seem to get out.
She didn't give up.
She stood as tall as a mountain, as strong as a pillar, and as beautiful as an ocean.
Beautiful? Yes. Vulnerable? Not anymore.
Life had pushed her, she had picked up herself. Life had turned her around, she turned over herself. Life gave her only the blues, she filled in colours.
She didn't give up.

As I read through the article. I had tears in my eyes. All my problems seemed like nothing.
And I decided..
I will not give up. :)

'Coz..
When the going gets tough, the tough get going. -Billy Ocean

Wow. I can be awesome, right?
Queen of Blah signing out. ;) :D

A hug is worth a thousand words. A friend is worth more. :)

Oceans apart, day after day,
As I slowly go insane.
I hear your voice on the line,
But it doesn't stop the pain. -Richard Marx
Best friends forever?
A promise which is most often made very easily.
But is it REALLY that simple? Huh! Of course not.

So, who is a 'BFF' really?
Someone with whom you can giggle about nothing with? Someone whom you can tell your GROSSEST and DEEPEST secrets and feel safe enough? Someone who gives you a VERY honest (sometimes more honest than what you'd like)opinion about how you look?
Well, yes plus a bit more.
But what if your BFF is not in the same city? Or even worse, in the same country? What do you do then?
Let us take MY example. My BEST friend who is almost like a sister to me, no, actually more- lives in Timbuktu. :|
Okay, fine, not in Timbuktu really- but yeah! In Qatar. Okay I know, Qatar's all developed and all, and is REALLY beautiful (Huh! I've heard enough of that, trust me.) but it stole away my best friend. Now, I just get to see her ONCE in a year. And it is one of the awful-est things that has ever happened to me.
Now, not only am I insecure and jealous when she talks to her other friends,(though deep down I know I hold too much of a special place) but also do I feel super lonely when I fight with my *usually perfect* boyfriend, get bad grades in Math, during 'the days of the month' and also on special occasions around the year- my birthday, getting a good grade in English, getting a good many followers on my blog. But then, I have been reassured enough number of times that I am just a Facebook inbox away from her. And true, in the end it's HER I go to crying and asking for URGENT advice. Although her advices suck just as much as she does; I love her. (No, no! Don't get it wrong!)

'When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. -Henri Nouwen'


Even though we're 2565.80 km away from each other, we just EXACTLY know how the other's brain works. There our times when we don't get to talk for days or weeks or also months together at times; but our friendship? Our friendship doesn't change an inch. We are still as idiotic when we talk and don't seem to run out of topics.


"I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar. -Robert Brault"

So, in this complete thesis on my friendship with my BFF, I come to the conclusion that friendship isn't just being together physically. It's being together with each other emotionally through thick and thin. It's about being there.
It's about P.M. (My BFF) and me. :)

"If distance were measured in terms of the heart we'd never be more than a minute apart.- anonymous. "

So, this is it.
Queen of Blah signing out. :D

Love? In you..

I thought I knew love,

How ignorant could I get?

Myth of being just a feeling,

My dumb heart couldn’t forget.

Till I met you, I didn’t realize this at all,

Love picks me up and embraces me after every fall.

Makes me meet you every night,

Even though you’re far apart,

And each time I see your face,

Fresh as ever, to you I again lose my heart.

With a smile, the day melts in my dreams,

With a smile, from them the morning gleams.

Even today, when we have completed a year half,

Every meet, every touch and every laugh,

Seems as pristine as it did the actual first time,

Everything in life, seems just perfect, just fine.

Daddy's Angel

As I held her close near me,

Her eyes closed, unable to see.

Face scarlet and divine,

Hands tiny, around her a little shine.

My little baby looked helpless and meek,

Her health was stable but she was still weak.

She needed me as a knight in armor,

She needed to be held tight, to make her warmer.

I promised to myself to separate her from every tangle,

I promised to her, that she’d be Daddy’s Angel.

When I held her delicate being to my soul,

I knew I would fill in her life’s every empty hole.

The first time she took a step,

A little happiness inside me crept.

Her first sound, word of joy,

Playing with me, her favorite toy.

Her moment of a toothless smile,

Kept me grinning for more than a while.

I promised to myself to separate her from every tangle,

I promised to her, that she’d be Daddy’s Angel.

As she shed a tear,

Staying away from home was her fear,

I let her slip away from my arms,

But I was assured she’d be kept from all harms.

Her first step towards an erudite existence,

By going weak, I didn’t want to pay the penance,

I promised myself I would separate her from every tangle,

I promised to her, that she’d be Daddy’s Angel

I hoped to give her the best of all,

Catch her at every wrong move, never let her fall.

I knew she would live up to all I had in mind,

In her, all my happiness I would find.

The day she set her foot in Primary school,

I knew she wouldn’t be in the pool of fools.

I promised myself I would separate her from every tangle,

I promised to her, that she’d be Daddy’s Angel

Only when she was a young girl,

With her charming smile and graceful twirls .

She was cruel enough to break my dreams.

Another man of her dreams, she had found, it seemed.

Got too lost, lost her achievements,

Skirts grew shorter, longer the beauty treatments.

Got another angel within her at the age of sixteen,

Yes, shattered my hopes and y dreams.

Even I couldn’t get her out of this tangle,

So much for Daddy’s Angel.

Now as on bed I lay and go weak,

Tears on my pillow from my eyes leak.

No matter how bad I’ve fallen,

No matter how my eyes are damp and swollen.

I just pause and remember the early years,

The words echo in my ears..

I promised myself I would separate her from every tangle,

I promised to her, that she’d FOREVER be Daddy’s Angel.

A Day in Time...

When the curtains of my dreams are drawn by the sunrise,

A smile on my face, your namesake lies.

In the vein of the initial rays of the golden orb,

Your thought makes my countenance shine and warm.

The sky blushes to a scarlet arresting,

Every immediate, to a lovelier it’s correcting.

My imagination of you ushers me into the same way,

Makes me redden just like the juvenile day.

As the day mellows and becomes erudite,

With my heart, my will picks up a fight.

Former wants to run away to a dwelling,

Where your arms are what make the railing.

Customs command thorny patience,

They say that is what sweetens the essence.

Of the day’s last few hours,

Shining above me, silver sparkling stars.

Silver as true, a tear from my eye,

Heartbreaking as the cold wind, leaves out a sigh.

Belonging to the same day, lovers we are two,

Our love, no qualm, belongs to true.

Obstacles and bars to a rainbow yet to be,

God be with us, together we will see.

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